Dating not sure i love him


07-Nov-2017 13:54

A reader's comments about a 4th path moved me to write about what happens when one partner is less in love - and gets married anyway."Sandy decides to stay with Philip because she hasn't found anything better and thinks maybe she is being too hard on him as there are way worse men out there.I recently came across a story of a woman who was in a long term relationship (several years) with a man that she described as emotionally available, kind, funny who kept her very satisfied in the bedroom. The problem here is this belief in the all empowering spark – it's the fairy tale that we all believe we need to have in order for a relationship to turn into love. In fact, the spark and love are completely unrelated. They are like two complete strangers who happen to be at the same party. He's kind, funny, fully available and sexy, they have great sex and she loves him. So we politely decline when he tries for date number three (sometimes even date number two).What your friend thought was a spark was actually just her ability to feel real love faster.Some people just take longer to get to the real love.I’ve fallen in love several times before but the guys either turned out to be married, not interested in me, had a very unstable mind, or were irresponsible and let me down…

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I just can’t imagine having a spousal relationship with him…

By the same token, some people eschew companionate, non-romantic marriages even though they are often stable and deeply satisfying.



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